The Truth About Learning English: It’s Not About Talent, It’s About Mindset

London

Today, I want to talk about a common struggle shared by many of us as Turks. If I were to ask you what this shared challenge is, I’m confident I’d hear similar answers from most of you. And I’m almost certain that a large majority would say, “English speaking.” Yes, today’s topic is English speaking! Why can’t we speak it? Is it a genetic problem that none of us seem naturally inclined toward it? Let’s dive into this deep subject, and I’ll share my thoughts as best as I can. Ready? Let’s begin!

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A Bit About My Story

I’m someone who started learning English relatively late. During middle school and high school, aside from the standard lessons at state schools, I didn’t make any extra effort to learn the language. With my knack for sciences, I kept my distance from English, and, to be honest, I may have even looked down on it a bit because of my love for maths. What a narrow-minded view! Without anyone guiding me, English remained a backburner issue for me. However, during university, I finally realised its importance. My real relationship with English began in my prep year at university when I received proper instruction for the first time.

That said, I must admit I still struggled with English once I started my major. Somehow, I managed to graduate with an intermediate level of English. Back then, I didn’t fully appreciate that even this level could get me through many situations. I’d convinced myself that my English was terrible and that I simply wasn’t cut out for it. I embodied the very definition of learned helplessness.

When I entered the workforce, my relationship with English was limited to occasional online searches. Honestly, I didn’t feel the need for it — until the day a foreign consultant at our office asked me a question. He wanted directions to a place. I understood the question, but I just stood there, frozen. I stared blankly at him to the point where he gave up and walked away.

That moment became my breaking point. I reflected on it for a while, trying to figure out what I could do. Taking a course wasn’t an option — I told myself my English was too poor to even begin one. Feel free to laugh here; it’s probably the silliest excuse I’ve ever made. The thought of not having mastered English after all this time made me feel so ashamed that I decided I had to tackle it privately, without anyone knowing.

After some research, I found a private tutor. The institution I attended charged exorbitant fees; even back then, I was paying a small fortune per hour. I knew this wasn’t sustainable, but my plan was to rebuild my confidence with private lessons and then join a course.

During these lessons, I made a startling discovery: I already knew all the grammar rules and had a decent vocabulary, but I couldn’t speak! I was paralysed by my own beliefs. Despite having an above-average English level, I couldn’t utter a word. I was convinced that if I opened my mouth, I’d make endless mistakes. In my mind, making mistakes while learning a language was unacceptable — I had to be perfect!

But where did these irrational beliefs come from? What kind of environment had we grown up in that led us all into this shared learned helplessness? How had this obsession with perfection been ingrained so deeply in us?

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The Myth of “Not Being Gifted”

The sole purpose of writing this piece is to debunk the excuse, “I’m just not gifted at languages.” It’s merely a defence mechanism we use to protect ourselves. Speaking a foreign language doesn’t require some innate talent like playing the piano or excelling in mathematics (and even those are debatable). Speaking a language is a natural process — it’s so natural that the idea of whether it even requires formal education is debated.

Unfortunately, in our society, learning a language begins and ends as a school subject. The focus is entirely on passing or failing exams, leaving the speaking aspect as a distant dream.

Returning to my story, after private lessons, I joined a language course. I took speaking classes for a while and attended regular levels, too. I managed to shed some of my inhibitions, but I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t naturally inclined to learn English. I thought I was merely forcing myself.

I won’t recount everything I tried after that because this piece would get too long, but suffice it to say, I’ve never given up on English in over 10 years. I’m still working on it, and I believe that’s the right approach because language learning never truly ends — there’s always more to learn.

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Creating a Natural Learning Process

As I’ve emphasised throughout this piece, learning to speak a foreign language is a natural process. I’ve observed this firsthand with my 2.5-year-old daughter. Since her nursery is entirely in English, she began speaking English naturally. She’s never had formal English education, yet she speaks it.

Of course, I can already hear you saying, “Well, she had the opportunity — we didn’t.” And you’d be right; neither did I. But natural learning isn’t limited to growing up in an English-speaking environment. You can create your own natural process by immersing yourself in something you love.

Find an activity you’re passionate about and engage with it in English. Don’t study English — simply do something you enjoy in the language. I’ve heard of people learning English through gaming or developing a love for TV series that makes the process easier. My turning point was YouTube. With my interest in personal development and leadership, I started consuming content in English. Over time, most of my sources became English.

Evenings became my favourite time of day as I watched videos from my favourite English-speaking channels. Eventually, I realised my English was improving effortlessly.

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A Roadmap for Adult Language Learners

Through trial and error, I’ve created a roadmap for adult learners, which I’ve tested with some friends. I’ll share it in my next article. In the meantime, be honest with yourself: write down why you want to learn English in concrete terms. Then remind yourself — constantly — that there’s nothing stopping you from learning.

See you in the next article! 👋