Stay with Yourself — Shift Your Focus Inward and Take Centre Stage in Your Own Life

Last week, as soon as I finished writing about being present, another thought crossed my mind. Being present is great, but isn’t the real challenge staying with yourself?

In today’s world, our attention is constantly directed outwards. Social media, curated lives, a system that relentlessly compares us to others… The expectations of family, societal pressures, the relentless pace of work—everything is designed to keep us focused on the external world.

Within this system, recognising our own needs and desires becomes increasingly difficult. There are so many distractions that hearing our inner voice feels almost impossible. How often do we truly check in with ourselves during the day? How often do we shut out external noise and simply ask, "What am I feeling right now?"

Why Is It So Hard to Focus on Ourselves?

1. Overwhelming External Stimuli

We live in a world of never-ending notifications. Our phones never stop buzzing — social media, messages, emails… It’s as if we are constantly expected to be engaged. Even reading an article is interrupted by pop-up ads, and music is cut off by sudden notifications. Instead of focusing, our attention is constantly being pulled elsewhere.

And it doesn’t end there. We keep up with the news, worry about global events beyond our control, and consume negativity first thing in the morning. By the time we finish scrolling, we’ve already drained ourselves emotionally, without even realising that none of it directly concerns our lives. Yet, it still takes up space in our minds and shifts our focus away from ourselves.

2. Societal Expectations

From an early age, we are conditioned to think about how we appear to others. Family expectations, cultural norms, and the pressure to succeed all push us into a constant state of performance.

We must be successful. We must look good. We must make the right decisions. And worst of all? We must consider what people will think.

Over time, without even realising it, we start viewing ourselves through the eyes of others. Even in small daily decisions — choosing an outfit, styling our hair, or posting on social media — we find ourselves asking, “How will others perceive this?” Somehow, their opinions become more important than how we feel about ourselves.

3. The Need for Validation: Seeing Ourselves Through Our Own Eyes

Social media likes, workplace recognition, constant comparison… The need for approval keeps growing.

It’s as if what we do only matters if others acknowledge it. We check the number of likes on our posts, wonder if our hard work is being noticed, and prioritise how impressive our achievements look to others.

But if we turned inwards, if we truly evaluated ourselves without external influence, we would see the value of our own growth and effort. Imagine feeling enough without seeking applause. Perhaps true freedom is learning to validate ourselves, rather than depending on external approval.

Shifting the Focus Inward: What Does It Really Mean?

Putting yourself first is not selfish — it is a conscious way of existing.

We are the most important person in our own lives, yet we often forget this. Prioritising our thoughts, feelings, and needs is not about ignoring the outside world but about hearing our own voice before listening to the noise of others. It’s about being honest with ourselves, seeing our reality for what it is, and acting accordingly. This is the foundation of inner balance.

Practical Steps to Prioritise Yourself

🔹 Practise Self-Awareness: Throughout the day, ask yourself, “What am I truly feeling right now?” Make it a habit — especially in moments of stress or discomfort. Instead of suppressing your emotions, observe them.

🔹 Own Your Emotions: Rather than focusing on how others feel, tune into your own emotions. Whatever you feel has meaning. Don’t dismiss your emotions — if they exist, there’s a reason for them. If something is bothering you, seek to understand why.

🔹 Find Your Inner Voice: Meditation, journaling, or even solo walks can help quiet your mind. But if those feel overwhelming, start with something even simpler: spend 15 minutes a day alone in a room, without a phone or distractions. Observe your thoughts without judgement, without engaging — just watch them pass like clouds in the sky.

🔹 Make Independent Decisions: Ask yourself regularly — Am I doing this for myself or because of external expectations? Who are you trying to please — yourself or others? Learn to separate what you truly want from what has been imposed on you.

🔹 Live at Your Own Pace: Don’t get caught in the fast-moving current of modern life. Let everything rush by — so what if you fall behind? Live at your pace, not the one dictated by society. Sometimes, slowing down is the only way to truly live.

The Power of Mental Freedom: Becoming the Author of Your Own Story

As cliché as it sounds, you are the main character in your life.

Think about it — one day, you’ll be gone, and you won’t even know what happens next. Your consciousness awakened in this world, searching for meaning. If you have no certainty about what came before or what follows, why wouldn’t you take the lead in your own story?

Instead of losing ourselves in other people’s lives, we should own our own journeys. What shapes our lives isn’t just what happens to us — it’s how we perceive and respond to it. Writing our own story means stepping out of the background and fully living our own lives.

So, the question is simple: If you are not the main character in your own life, then who is?

The Real Challenge: Staying with Yourself

At the end of the day, being present is just an excuse — the real goal is staying connected with yourself.

It’s about not getting lost in the noise of the external world. It’s about refusing to live according to the expectations of others and instead, shaping life according to your values.

Because you are the star of this life. And you don’t have to hand over the stage to anyone else.

So, turn inward. Stay with yourself. Because the most important journey is the one that leads back to you.