Overcoming the Feeling of Being Too Late — Are You One of the Latecomers?

Danson Park / London

Whenever I write about how to become a better software developer, I hear people saying, “I’m too late.” We discuss moving abroad, and someone says, “I’m too late to relocate.” I share tips on starting exercise, and I hear, “I’m too late.”I suggest ways to improve English, and people respond with, “I’m too late.”

I launch a YouTube channel, and someone remarks, “You’re too late for that.” I mention that my child hasn’t started speaking yet, and they say, “It’s too late.” I talk about having a baby, and people tell me, “You’re too late for that too.”

You could multiply these examples endlessly. It seems that everyone is always too late for everything. And, apparently, we’ve all missed our chance.

One of the greatest tragedies of life is living with the belief that you’re always behind. Because it means every step you take is accompanied by regret. What a torturous way to live!

I wish I could tell you that I’ve never experienced this feeling—that I’ve mastered the art of letting go. But if you know me, you’ll know that I never speak on something I haven’t lived through myself. And I have certainly felt too late—deeply and painfully. However, overcoming the feeling of being too late is a journey, not a final destination. While I’ve learned to manage it better than before, those whispers of “you’ve missed your chance” still visit me now and then. The key is recognising that this mindset can be challenged and reshaped.

How to Overcome the Feeling of Being Too Late!

The feeling of being too late stems from a simple comparison. It appears the moment you start measuring yourself against others. It reaches its peak with society’s unspoken rules.

Society dictates a timeline for everything. If you exceed that timeline, you’re officially too late.

And here’s the catch—you might not even feel behind, but that doesn’t matter. Society has already decided the “right time” for things, and if you don’t follow it, you’ll have to face the consequences.

This rule is well-known and universally accepted. And because most people feel behind in some aspect of their lives, they will try to drag you into the same mindset. After all, misery loves company.

Before you know it, you start to feel the weight of being late too. Regret and helplessness become your closest companions.

The Roots of This Feeling Are Planted in Childhood

Most of the time, the beliefs that trigger this too late mindset come from our families. But once you realise where it stems from, you no longer have to fear it. Instead, it should start fearing you!

My family and social circles taught me this belief early on. But as an adult, I began questioning why I still felt so deeply trapped by it. Why did it keep creeping into my thoughts, making me feel like I had missed my chance?

Once I became aware of it, I became my own detective. And eventually, I discovered something eye-opening:

The “Too Late” Mindset Was Just an Excuse

I’d tell myself:

"I want to start running, but at this age? It’s too late!"

"I want to learn a new language, but I’ve missed my chance..."

Being too late was my excuse. It was everyone’s excuse!

This was a turning point for me. When I realised this belief was holding me back, I felt like a stranger to myself. So, I haven’t actually missed my chance?

And then, ironically, I got frustrated. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? 😅

I told you—this feeling is relentless! You can’t just get rid of it whenever you want. But with awareness, you can slowly crush it over time.

Everything Happens at the Right Time

Once I recognised this destructive mindset, I decided to challenge it.

I listed all the things I thought I had missed my chance for. And guess what? I realised that many of them had actually happened at exactly the right time for me.

Yes, you guessed it—there is no such thing as being too late!

At the end of the day, people and experiences unfold at their own pace. Everything comes into existence in its own perfect timing.

So let go of the past, stop obsessing over the future, and focus on the present. You’ll be amazed at how things magically shift when you do.

See you in the next post! 👋